Crab Smasher – Crocodile Box and The Johnny Mars

Crab Smasher
released their very first album to the then awesome but now poxy in 2002, the epic Crocodile Box and The Johnny Mars! It was recorded in dribs and drabs between Nick’s house and Grant’s house, with one track recorded to cassette walkman at Sarah’s house, two years before the band ever performed live together. The lineup at the time was Grant, Nicholas, Chloe, and Sarah, but who did what where I will never tell! The whole thing was tracked in Windows Sound Recorder, which has no multitrack function as such, so instead files were mashed together at random with fingers crossed that they would sync up somewhat. Also most of the tracks are under one minute long because the computer would crash otherwise. It was 2002!
Although some live instruments such as guitar and harmonica were used in places, much of the material was made up of downloaded samples which were reversed, sped up, or slowed down, and mashed with dumb yelling or silly voices, and drumbeats and noises provided by free software, like Hammerhead and Timbrewolf. Eventually the band was brave enough to start using some dodgy version of fruity loops, for better or worse. (Click the links! make your own music and send it to us, it’s easy).
The album begins with a hip-hop style answering machine skit featuring young Max French, and is followed by the most grim song ever written, Skeleton Fury. Other highlights include the wobbly industrial dance of White Scrolly, the completely a cappella Holy Dwight!, which beat Bjork by two years, the Twin Peaksy backwards talking Onion, and Microwave Johnny!!, the very first Crab Smasher song that started it all. See if you can spot the very tiny backwards Vincent Gallo sample. Considered by true fans to be the last great Crab Smasher album,  before they started chasing fans and dollars, repeatedly selling out to varying degrees of success.  Enjoy!

1. “what’s that noise?”
2. skeleton fury
3.  sampson, laid in scratchtown
4. mr. crookshank
5. train cat
6. siphon
7. judd nelson, autobot hero
8. the wooden sword of the fool
9. death by truck with burning wheels (part two)
10. onion
11. oct 21 2001, 1:10am
12. tragic posture, town of woe
13. reaper ware
14. “where is he?”
15. modulok’s confusion
16. tentacles, fingers, thousands of bees
17. zachiaz and the tax collectors
18. glittery void
19. white scrolly
20. the severity of infected toes
21. ghost with car trouble
22. atomic supermen
23. toast
24. holy dwight!
25. death by truck with burning wheels (part one)
26. the furniture society
27. microwave, johnny!!
28. white box
29. man with carrying pipe
30. harlem
31. new kill song
32. stealing from the circus
33. “can you give me a ring back?”



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