Crab Smasher – Dr. Snake and 200 Bearded Skinnys

Crab Smasher
released the very unusual Dr. Snake and 200 Bearded Skinnys in 2004.  Much more focussed than the silly albums that preceeded it, this was the band trying a little bit harder, with slightly better but equally confusing results. Yes that’s Vanilla Ice on the cover art. Fan favourite dance of the techno hobos is a Nicholas French programmed computer composition that was downloaded an unbelievable amount of times when it was released and was pretty much the Crab Smasher theme song for a really long time. little itty bits is a bizarre western themed narrative with a simple melody and scraped percussion featuring extended Crab Smasher family Matt Ranzetta and Sarah Humphreys. nothing but pot plants was recorded in the middle of the night at Nicholas’ parents house, Grant had just started drinking coffee and was trying to sound like Tom Waits, the shamefaced sex of comfortable compromise was 20 minutes of epic noise filler, before the band even realized that there was fanbase for such a thing. It was recorded at Chloe and Grant’s house in Carrington, for the first time using a lot of the instrumentation from the live version of the band. It’s full of Russ Meyer and Transformers samples as well as casio saxophone, dumb screaming, cassette manipulations, harsh noise, techno beats, dumb guitar, just noise really, which closes out with some pretty xylophone melodies, whistling, and circuit bendery. The recording of this track resulted in a massive big stupid argument between Grant and Chloe about the audio levels clipping or something which Nicholas recorded on to his dictaphone and maybe he’ll release one day on Sky Hut. Cut Off My arm and eat it (la la la) is Grant and Chloe’s attempt at making a really dumb macho nu metal song on the computer, and it really is insanely idiotic.  Crooked Smile and the heart shaped face is really really pretty, as is strange cycle of life, a weird song about goldfish eating tadpoles and tadpole larvae killing goldfish. So basically  this album isn’t as good as their newer stuff but it’s probably a whole lot better than some of their older stuff. It depends on your own taste really. Surely there’s an audience out there for this stuff somewhere. Enjoy at your own risk!

1. if you loved me you’d let me eat your brains
2. dance of the techno hobos
3.  get busy with the fizzy
4. little itty bits
5. Sean and the monster cock
6. strange cycle of life
7. i can’t sleep i miss you (hugs from a cat)
8. the sun is quite awesome today
9. cut off my arm and eat it (la la la)
10. crooked smile and the heart shaped face
11. love is
12. nothing but pot plants
13. always limit your kill, never kill your limit
14. the shamefaced sex of comfortable compromise
15. cold water and a lot of patience



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